Phase One
Do not panic!

Most of what you're experiencing at first is panic. The fear that you won't be able to survive alone, that all your dreams got crushed and there is nothing ahead of you.

It is a chain of thoughts that weigh you down, it's not love, you're not missing the person, you're only panicking.

Confronted by what we think is the worst that can happen to us, we do anything to fight it off: we plead, we beg, cry in front of our Exes, harass, stalk, write e-mails, IMs, etc.

DO NOT TEXT HIM! No matter how much you want to, doesn't matter how logical it seems to be. Do not text him.

RULE 1: Non-contact rule.

Absolutely NO CONTACT with your Ex, either personally, by phone, email or short message. It means NO Facebook/ MySpace-Stalking, NO Phone-Harassing and NO parking/driving by in front of their house.

GOAL:

Control panic. Right now you need to work on resisting the temptation of letting panic overwhelm you. Don't worry about reasons, possibilities, new relationships, etc. Just survive.

You will have to go through the pain

There is nothing that can make the pain go away in an instant, There is no magic pill or spell. There is nothing that anyone could say or do to make your pain disappear completely in an instant.

You're on a phase now when you need to let it out. Talk to your friends, seek help from family. Listen to sad songs, cry looking at the mirror. You can allow yourself so suffer a bit, and the time is now, only now. There is no quick fix to how you're feeling.

You probably are wondering how could he do this to you, imagining that you should kill yourself so that he feels guilty, feeling like badmouthing your Ex in front of friends/colleagues, giving your Ex the fault alone that your relationship failed, wish him failures in his future lives or hoping that a truck runs over him.

Cry it out

Do some visualization. imagine in details how you confront, punish and attack them verbally. You may even picture how you punch them in their face. Visualize everything you would do to get "revenge". Scream it out loud. Take your car and drive to a deserted place with no people around and shut the windows.

Hit it, Baby. Get a punching bag somewhere and beat the crap out of it. Be careful that you do not hurt yourself. Every time you hit it, scream out loud the name of your Ex sending him to crew himself.

Be active, use your body. If you never have been a "sporty" person, now is the right time to start.

RULE 2: No quick fix.

Don't take alcohol or drugs hoping to free your mind. Don't try a quick fix. Don't punish your body. It might seem like a good idea at fi rst but the hangover on the next day will make you feel even worse. And avoid over indulging on food too; Putting on weight will only make u feel worse. Looking sick from losing too much weight wont help either. Be nice to your body!

GOAL:

Letting the anger and sadness out. But keep in mind that this is for a limited time only.

It is OVER!

It is the end and to move on you will have to face it. It is partially your decision too. Even if you got dumped, accepting that it is over and deciding that there is nothing else do be done in this relationship is essential to help you to move on. You don't want this anymore. Don't try to get your Ex back.

"What if", "but maybe", "there is a chance that….", "He once told me he loves me so he must still..."

Those thoughts will only keep that little hope in you that maybe things can change and will be how it use to be, and that maybe if they knew how much you love him he would come back immediately.

He knows you love him and he is breaking-up anyways. It will only leads you to humiliation.

If you need closure, okay, go talk to him, discuss it. But beware, closure is NOT ask him if you can back together. Ask yourself honestly, do I really need to talk about this with him so I can move on, or am I seeking a quick fi x? The no-contact rule demands that there is no friendship after a break up, and this is proven to be the best way to go. The only reason to go talk to him is if there is something tying you down. Otherwise, avoid. Run from him because he can't help you, even if he wants to. Make up your mind that you want to move on, and stick to it. It is the only way to go ahead with your life.

Get a box put everything you have that reminds you of him and hide it. Delete his number, his Facebook, his everything. He is no longer part of your life and you have to face it. Stop checking your phone, he won't call, there won't be any messages. Don't go to places where you could fi nd him or that remind you of him. It is over.

RULE 3: Don't try to get your ex back.

Stop thinking that he will change his mind or there is still hope. It is Over.

GOAL:

Accept that it is over, stop hoping that maybe there is a chance that things will workout. It is over.

Phase Two
Regain control!

Time to get back on your feet and work out a plan

Stop thinking about him. Maybe not for a whole day, but for a whole hour or so. This take s a lot of control but you can do it. Good or bad memories, just let them all go. Avoid them all together because neither will help you.

GOAL:

Stop thinking about him.

Stop punishing yourself. Don't allow yourself to feel guilty or pity. Those sad songs you listened to before? Ditch them. Resist the compulsion to listen to "your song", to look at mutual photos, to watch those heart-killing movies, to talk to or stalk your Ex. Do not torture yourself. Resist! May seem like this is your last connection to your Ex, but all they cause is pain. Listen to empowering songs and things that make you stronger.

GOAL:

Take control over your mind.

Get busy! Clean all the windows, paint, draw, practice piano, read classic books, work harder at your job. After all, you have time. Do the best with it, be productive work on going up in your career or improve a skill you have. Find a new skill. Also Never isolate yourself for better suffering. Call all your friends, make appointments, so that you don't have to spend a minute alone. Go sporting, go on vacation, meet people. Action is the key. Isolation gives you time to think. Thinking is bad for you now.

GOAL:

Keep yourself busy

Think over your life. What do you really want, what are your dreams, how would you get there. Time to be selfi sh, think about yourself, set priorities. This is a opportunity for you to turn your life around, make some big changes all together.

GOAL:

Find yourself again; find what you want from life.

Adopt a new healthier lifestyle. If either you've been under or overeating since the break-up, once you're working so hard to get back to your feet why not stand taller when you get there? It is time to adopt changes. If you can ditch your ex you can also ditch the fl aws on your diet, adopt a sport and improve. Treat yourself well. Buy creams, exfoliate, do facials.

GOAL:

Improve, improve and improve.

LOVE YOURSELF!

Be single for a while. Do you feel incomplete without your partner? Was he the better part of you? Then a separation would of course be a drastic experience for you. It is very important to develop a natural self-esteem. Self-love and self-confidence is something you can develop through different continuous exercises. To love yourself, and thereby establish a strong self-confidence, is one of the most vital ingredients of living a fulfilled life. Being single can be scary and hard, but wear your 'Single' title proudly and build the strength. You will see that being alone is not as bad as you pictured, this will make you stronger and keep you away from rebound relationships.
Phase Three
Back to the game!

It is wild out there. How long has it been? It takes time to heal. Make sure you're not looking for a rebound relationship. Give yourself time. If you feel that you're ready…. Bring it on!